Software Engineering, Parenting, Family, Habits and Routine
Life is a beautiful mess. 3-2-1. This Week's Praise for Anton, List of interesting reads and more!
Gourav’s Odyssey #3
This is an edition type of The Curious Soul’s Corner newsletter where I share my free flowing thoughts, curations and life outside work.
👋 Hey there, I am Gourav. I write about Engineering, Productivity, Thought Leadership, and the Mysteries of the mind!
Unpopular Opinion
Don’t listen to productivity gurus telling you to stick to a fixed schedule.
Why? Because you can’t control everything. Check this out:
Day 1: You start strong—wake up at 5 AM, feel great, and sleep on time, ready for the next day.
Day 2: Still on track. Wake up at 5 AM, feeling good… but then your kid gets sick that night, and you end up sleeping late.
Day 3: The cracks appear. Because you slept late, now you wake up at 7 AM instead, miss the gym and feel bad. Sev2 bug at work pulls you into stress during the day, unexpected guests came home in evening and you end up sleeping even later.
Day 4: You try to wake up at 5 AM again..but fail. Snooze till 6am, wake up with sore eyes, heavy head. Drag yourself through a challenging workday, get tired and sleep early.
Day 5: Because you slept early, now you are back to 5 AM.
Barely, but on track again. :)
The reality of routines is: life happens. It's nearly impossible to excel at parenting, attend to friends and family, build habits, and stick to a perfect routine all at once.
Life doesn’t adhere to rigid schedules, and sticking to one isn’t always practical. Emergencies happen—kids get sick, work demands spike, or unexpected events disrupt your plans.
And you know what? That’s okay.
Adaptive Routines
The goal isn’t to follow a perfect schedule every day. It’s to stay intentional and adaptable, so you can make progress even when things go sideways.
Instead of rigid schedules, focus on principles and systems that adapt to your reality.
Here’s what works for me:
Define the Success of Your Day and Embrace Uncertainty: I define one key task each day that makes it successful, even if nothing else gets done. If an emergency arises, I simply swap it with the task that took over. This way, I stay focused without stressing over unavoidable events.
Declutter, Don’t Overload: I constantly focus on removing and automating tasks rather than adding new ones. I prioritize heavily.
Leverage Intense Waves of Focus: Real progress happens during focused, deep work. I work in intense waves when my brain is at its peak performance, and rest when I feel exhausted. I don’t fight against your natural rhythms.
Downtime: I build in time for rest and downtime. Taking a break from the routine is just as important as following it.
Bounce Back After Slipping: When I break my routine, I get back to it as soon as possible to avoid breaking consistency.
Use Mechanisms, Not Just Intentions: Don’t rely on willpower—build accountability mechanisms. For instance, I moved my mentoring sessions to early mornings, which naturally pushed me to wake up on time for the gym.
3-2-1
3 ‘Pics’ of life outside work
November is a month of memories for us. My birthday, our wedding anniversary and many more Indian traditional events occur in this month before we get ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas. And I don’t mind breaking my routine to cherish these moments. :)
Talking about interruptions in routines. A deadly 'bomb cyclone' hit the Pacific Northwest. It brought high winds and devastating damage. We had a power outage for more than 2 days in Bothell, Bellevue, Redmond and some parts of Seattle (Washington).
2 ‘Pieces of Content’ I am consuming to learn New Stuff
Million Dollar Weekend: A book that, in a simple, modern way, tells all about starting a business, without wasting time.
Data Engineering Concepts from dataengineer.io bootcamp by
: Because AI and ML needs training data and I need to learn how its plumbed through. If you also want to learn it, use coupon code “GOURAV” and you will get 25% off. :)
1 ‘Black Friday’ deal I am buying into
Ninja Espresso & Coffee Maker & Barista System (25% off): Because Software Engineers deserve the upgrade :)
This Week’s Praise
Anton is an R&D Team Leader and the author of the Leading Developers newsletter, a must-read for engineering managers and team leaders. His content offers sharp, actionable strategies for leading dev teams. It's a valuable resource for folks looking to improve their leadership skills.
From Anton, I’ve learned the art of smart brevity—how to cut through the fluff and get straight to the point. His writing is a masterclass in delivering value with precision, a skill that has transformed how I approach my own newsletter. Anton’s work is a goldmine, subscribe to his newsletter, if you haven’t.
More praises in next editions.
Must Read Articles
Staying Calm When You Want to Disappear by
andWhy and How to Build Your Personal Brand on LinkedIn by
28 Year Old Staff Engineer @ Google by
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Gourav Khanijoe
Eyy November birthday pal 💯 if yours was on the 20th then we might be twins 😂
I really love the new format, with the personal touch and stories :)
I can relate on the fixation on a schedule, or even a habit. I was like that with mediation - constantly frustrated if I couldn’t do it in the mornings. Great reminder.
And thank you so much for your kind words! ❤️