The Art of Empowering Others with Influential Leadership: Spreading Joy and Happiness
Understanding the 'External and Inner Worlds' holds the key to leadership.
👋 Hey there, fellow tech enthusiasts, professionals, and wanderers of the digital realm! 🚀
I am Gourav. I write about Engineering, Productivity, Science-Spirituality, and the Mysteries of the mind!
I'm on a mission to help you thrive in your career, leadership, and life without resorting to any mystical mantras. Mantras like 5/10/20/50 rules of doing ‘something’ or “things I wish I knew” are many times, if not always, bits of textual information without thought-provoking and behavior-changing pieces of advice. We covered such misconceptions and myths in another article..
My aim is to help you lead a meaningful, impactful life that not only benefits your organization but also helps you strike a harmonious balance between work, leadership, and life. In one of the previous articles, we explored the concept of succeeding at work using 'Karm Yog'—covering key life principles and practical tips. In this (and future) article, we'll dive even deeper into the nitty-gritty of the areas elaborating on success, leadership, influencing, and more.
But before we get into the intricacies of workplace dynamics and how to lead and influence effectively, let's take a little detour. We're going to touch on broader aspects of life, so you can build a better and more comprehensive understanding of what success, leadership, and fulfillment truly mean.
Why Do We Work and Seek Success?
Think about it—why do we put in all this effort at our jobs? Is it just to earn money, amass wealth, or maybe serve humanity with the latest tech advancements or with noble deeds? Well, at the core of it all, it's about achieving happiness. Happiness is an innate quality shared by every living being. It's what drives all our desires and efforts. Every move we make, consciously or unconsciously, is fueled by the desire to be happy.
Now, here's the kicker: our happiness is essentially a product of two worlds. Let's dive into these two realms, and you'll see how they hold the key to understanding everything better.
Outer and Inner Worlds: The Duality of Existence
There are two types of worlds—outer and inner. The outer world is the one we all see, and it's consistent and true for everyone. It's made up of tangible things like earth, metals, materials, buildings, water, fire, and air. We all perceive this outer world in the same way because it's grounded in objective reality. It's like the stage on which the human drama unfolds. This vast outer world, ranging from the tiniest atom or higgs boson to the grandest galaxies, is a creation of a supreme power.
But then, there's the inner world. This one's a bit of a wild card. It's unique to each of us and comprises thoughts, feelings, emotions, intellect, mind, knowledge, attachments, aversions, desires, capabilities—you name it. The inner world is where subjectivity rules. It's influenced by our personal experiences, beliefs, and even our whims and fancies. It's a land of myth, shaped by our limited knowledge, preconceived notions, and a cocktail of good and bad experiences, along with a sprinkle of jealousy and hatred, just for kicks.
To illustrate the point, let's take a couple of examples. Imagine a red cloth in the outer world—it's red for you, and it's red for me. No surprises there. But if I tell you I absolutely adore this bright red T-shirt, you might raise an eyebrow and wonder who on earth wears such loud colors. See the difference between our outer and inner worlds?
Now, think about someone who builds a house after years of hard work and career success. The house, in the outer world, looks the same to everyone—it has walls, paint, structure, and all the usual bits and bobs. But how it's perceived can vary wildly. You, the proud homeowner, might bask in the glory of your hard-earned success, thinking, "My career got me this house!" Meanwhile, your neighbor, simmering with jealousy, might suspect all sorts of dubious activities, from selling contraband to buttering up your manager for promotions.
Now, here's the kicker.
It all boils down to the fact that even though we're surrounded by the external world, which remains neutral and serves us consistently, the happiness it brings is fleeting. The real treasure trove of happiness is nestled in the inner world. No matter how much you hustle at the office, whether you're happy or not can be as varied as a box of chocolates. Some may be thrilled, others may not, and still others may view it from a completely different angle. But remember, deep down, we all yearn for happiness.
What's the practical advice, you ask?
How can we do things differently, ensuring that we spread joy to all around us? How can you become a leader who not only achieves results but also touches the hearts and minds of your colleagues, peers, juniors, seniors, board members, and stakeholders? It's about more than the technical machinery of code or software—it's about the why and how behind your actions, rather than just the what.
Influencing the inner worlds of those around you, whether they're your colleagues or the bigwigs at the top, is what will truly create a sense of work-life harmony, not just for you but for the entire organization. It's what shapes the unique culture of a company.
Here are some down-to-earth, yet proven tips to help you influence effectively on your leadership journey:
Boost Your Influence with Generosity: When you genuinely add value and help others without expecting anything in return, people are more likely to reciprocate your kindness and trust you. In the classic book 'Influence,' Dr. Robert Cialdini shares an intriguing example involving a candy store. They experimented with offering free candies, and the results were astonishing—sales skyrocketed by a whopping 42%.
Do What Matters to Them: To wield influence effectively, focus on what's important to others rather than just yourself. Ask questions, pay attention, and say, "I know this is important for you, so here's what I have for you...".
Offer Choices: Don't force your ideas or solutions onto others. Give them choices, and they'll feel empowered to make decisions. The concept of offering choices aligns with the psychological principle of autonomy, which has been extensively studied in the context of motivation (By Deci and Ryan (1985) on Self-Determination Theory).
Tap into Emotional Importance: Make people feel heard, show humility and empathy. Say, "I know this can be overwhelming, so let me know how I can genuinely help. Here's what I was thinking to lighten your workload." Research conducted by Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist, emphasizes the importance of active listening and empathy in building strong relationships. His studies have shown that when people feel truly heard and understood, it leads to greater connection and influence in personal and professional interactions.
Influencing Top Leadership with Less Words: Instead of regurgitating what top brass is saying, elevate your game. Do your homework, create a proof of concept (POC), or come up with an idea that supports your intuition. That's how you become the superhero everyone roots for—it's a win-win. Providing concise, data-driven insights or proofs of concept (POCs) can be more persuasive than lengthy explanations.
Address the Elephant in the Room: Be the one who talks about the big issues directly, with clear intentions. Show how you're supporting others, and you'll earn trust faster than dancing around the topic. Research in the field of conflict resolution and negotiation, including studies by Roger Fisher and William Ury in "Getting to Yes," emphasizes the importance of addressing issues directly and collaboratively
So there you have it—leading with influence isn't about cracking codes or writing the perfect software. It's about touching hearts and minds, understanding the inner world, and spreading joy and happiness along the way. Stay tuned for more practical insights into our ongoing journey towards a harmonious and successful workplace.
Until next time, keep those inner worlds smiling! 🌟
I attribute some of the learnings in my life to my spiritual teacher and the JKYog organization.